This is the best time in the whole relationship.

I've got a date tonight. I'm actually excited about it. The guy seems like a real winner.

He is tall.

He has a job.

He knows people I know and they don't think he's an asshole.

He seems to really like me.

He is witty over text message (very important attribute).

He is in graduate school.

Did I mention he has a job?

I've been mentally listing all the things I'm not to say tonight.

"Well, since my parents died..."

"When my brother got out of rehab the second time..."

"Due to my step-dad's severe depression and unemployment..."

"After I got divorced..."

"Because of my brother's persistent mental illness..."

"When my sister got arrested for her third possession with intent to distribute charge..."

I'm thinking to refer to "Family" very broadly. As in, not mention any member specifically, except to mention benign facts about them. As in, "My sister is an excellent cook." Not mentioning, "My sister cooks meth in her bathtub in Spokane."

I'm also thinking of what questions he will probably ask.

"Why did you move to New York?"

Real answer: "My four year relationship exploded into a thousand shimmering pieces, my mother died without warning, and everything in Seattle reminds me of the wonderful and awful things about both of them."

First Date answer: "Just wanted to go on an adventure! And, it was an excellent career move."

Are you lying if you aren't telling all your business? I feel phony when I don't spill my guts, but I sound like a lunatic when I give the Oprah Winfrey tell-all ten seconds after knowing someone.

We'll see if I can stay planted on the barstool, not fall off and land on Oprah's couch.

UPDATE: The day after

Beside the fact that I slept with him, I did pretty well.

Didn't mention narcotics or death at all.